Family is Priority

Sunday, April 22, 2018

The family is the center of our priorities. It’s the safe place. It’s the place where my kids will always have a place to call home, find love amongst the chaos and shut the out the noise of the world. They will be able to always come home to remove negative vibes, the lack of support they may be feeling, the ignorance, the competition. So many of our decisions, our actions, and our words reflect who we are & who we are becoming. Built-in friendships and relationships that will change and evolve over the years, hopefully for the better. As we go through life with ups and downs, some really hard times, a lot of really happy times, the one thing is certain, we will be there to support them, guide and be with them. Having a family means we have people there by your side who are truly happy for your happiness and truly sad with you on the days you struggle the most. They are there with you when even the words can’t make it right but a hug and hold tight does just right. Grateful that under my roof we are perfectly imperfect walking this life together. The memories we have made and the memories that will come will be the ones I will enjoy in my dreams one day when my life starts to fade. I prayed for these days, and I’m grateful for each step we have taken together even on the really hard ones, the ones I didn’t  know if I can do this any more days, because really....... everything always works out...... with their love, laughter, and hand in mine, we are family. 


C.H.A.N.G.E & P.A.T.I.E.N.C.E

Sunday, March 25, 2018

C.H.A.N.G.E & P.A.T.I.E.N.C.E

This is something Autism teaches you all about. It teaches you to have the patience for those who don’t understand your fears and worries. It teaches you to have it for your child, yourself as your marriage. Marriage is a sacred bond. You have to nurture it, take care of it if you want it to last forever. Sometimes I’ve felt alone in the process of the whole Autism thing when it comes to my marriage even. As a mother, I think we just take ahold of things and do what needs to be done, like most trials or issues that arise. This trial and destination don’t have a final route. It’s always changing its course it’s always throwing us off and sometimes on a detour. I’d admit when in my marriage Autism grief hits my husband it’s probably one of the hardest to watch unravel. The pain in his eyes, the heartbreak of sadness he feels I know all too well. I can’t take that pain from him. I can only be supportive with a hug and shared tears in a way he knows I care. It’s the hardest thing to watch and listen to. I hate seeing him sad and worried. I want to fix that or make it better. He has to feel and go through the same emotions I do as a mom, as a dad. He has to look at his only son and just be ok with what it is for the both of them. He has to let go of some of those father and son dreams, ideas and simple things that others take for granted like simple conversations about sports, video games or school. The connection is different not less. It still stings. To watch it happen stings too. It takes a lot more effort to have conversations because as parents we are still trying to figure out how to do it too. It takes more effort for playing and any engagement. It’s something we have to do every day. Allowing yourself to be sad is ok. Accepting what we cannot change isn’t always easy. We have to learn to be ok with what we have been given and let go of what we expect because the world around us expects it. Do we set up our minds in a particular way to please the people around us or the one who needs us to accept the way they truly are? Patience takes practice in parenting, especially in special needs parenting. Protect your marriage with patience, for yourself and your spouse. Have the courage to accept the changes and understand its ok to be not ok with the things we don’t understand. Have the patience to accept what might be hard to change might be what’s best for you in the long run, and patiently as you grow in this journey, you will start to see nothing ever really needed to change after all. We just needed to change how we accepted. 

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